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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Getting antsy

I've been off work for the past seven weeks and am beginning to feel antsy to get back to it. It's amazing, and quite sad actually, that we become defined by what we do and not what we are. Despite the absurdity of it, I certainly feel an element of uselessness and idleness, that I consciously think I should not feel.
I have never been off work for more than two weeks at a time in the last decade or so. I have held two jobs each for decent lengths of time. Why is it that I am feeling so antsy about getting back to work? I am trying hard, and with a moderate degree of difficulty, to take a BIG step back and just allow what is actually me to shine through. Part of that is doing, but I think mostly it involves just being.

Oh my goodness, I've gone all zen...


Mel said...

11 years ago today, I was in a nasty head-on collision that put me out of work for two months to recuperate. Within two weeks of forced idleness, I was going out of my mind and ended up doing yardwork one-handed just to have something to do.

We all need time to recharge our batteries, as it were, but most of us also have an inherent understanding of the value of work done well. One of the virtues comprising the Eightfold Path of Buddhism is Right Work, so there's no reason that can't be approached with a Zen mind, as well.

TorontoVet said...


Without knowing that specifically, intuitively it sounds right. Thanks.

Meg said...

I think certain professions are more "callings" than just mere occupations. Doctors sacrifice a lot in the way of money, time, and commitment to the study and practice of medicine. And be it human or animal, the emotional, physical and psychological commitments and tolls of the medical profession take a lot out of you. As an outsider looking in, I'm impressed by certain doctors -- and you're defintiely one of them -- who show such a heartfelt commitment, and I can only imagine that someone who brings so much to their profession probably feels out of synch when they are removed from it day to day. Your instinct to do good, and to help animals (and their owners) probably isn't a switch you can simply turn off. I think you probably needed this time to recharge your batteries, but perhaps that antsy feeling is your cue that it's time to return to that "calling". I selfishly hope so, because as I get ready to return to Toronto one of my first priorities is to open my heart and life to another pet, and I'd love to know that I can place his or her well being into the hands of one of the best vets in Toronto.

TorontoVet said...


I hope you pick up this comment as it's just for you.
I would be honoured to see you and treat your future pet. Thank you for such kind words. They mean more to me than you can imagine.