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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My apologies....

... for not having posted for quite some time. Suffice it to say that I have been going through a very difficult personal period and that it has been extremely difficult to find the strength to do some of the things I enjoy most, like blogging and painting.
I will overcome this. This post is not to garner pity from anyone, but rather to express that, as all of us have experienced at some point, I am trying to overcome an unexpected curve ball that has recently been pitched at me.

This difficult period has been exacerbated by the recent euthanasia of my wonderful cat, Isaac, seen in the photo at the top of this page. I had been treating him for diabetes for about two years, and following a relatively recent additional diagnosis of acromegaly, it was evident his diabetes became uncontrolled. While he was not overtly suffering, his consumption of water had increased significantly and his voracious appetite, while I had previously written about it in my blog somewhat humorously, was really the only thing that was defining this cat. He lived to eat, would rarely leave his empty food bowl, and beg for food like a starving roadside village waif. His urine and stool were foul, reeking the house to a point where guests could not come over unless the house were fully aired out. The decision to euthanize him was based not only on condition, but on our suffering. Callous it may sound, but this is fact. While I could not predict exactly when, I knew that at some point he would start showing overt signs of suffering: he would develop ketoacidosis from uncontrolled diabetes, as well as the likelihood of starting to manifest neurological symptoms like behavioural changes and seizures secondary to acromegaly (caused by a pituitary tumor, which was spilling excessive growth hormone into his bloodstream). I was resolved it was his time, our time.
It was performed by me, peaceably, lovingly, painlessly, while he purred away in his owners' arms, knowing that they loved him as much as a human being can love anything.
Isaac was buried in a quiet corner of the backyard, with a large flagstone covering the earth over his grave, in which his body now lies still, while his spirit is meowing, hunting, and craving pizza somewhere above us.

Isaac, the cat: RIP 1995-2009


GoLightly said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Doc!

You did the right thing. Not callous, at all.

Isaac was lucky to have you. You didn't allow him to suffer, and he was loved to his last breath.
Lucky cat he was.

Mel said...

No apologies necessary. Everybody goes through tough times and everybody's allowed to mourn.

Laureate said...

I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties; and especially the loss of Isaac. Having lost three of our girls this year (Shelties), your post brought a tear to my eye. I'm so sorry for your loss.


Angus said...

Great to see you're back. Loss of any sentient being is a deeply personal thing. Intelligent folk always tend to be the most sensitive so things like this hurt.
Keep strong.

DogsDeserveFreedom said...

My condolences. It is difficult to make that decision.

OldMorgans said...

It is never easy to help a beloved friend pass on, even when it is absolutely the right thing. While I miss this blog, take the time you need.

Y.L.G. said...

As you can see you have been missed and even though you are having a difficult time; it is good to hear from you -
Been following your posts on Isaac (even voted several times) -terribly sorry to hear the sad news.
I had to make the decision with my own dog - it made me cry all over again.
Yes, Issac was a lucky cat, and it was your love that gave you the strength and courage to give him a peaceful end.
He wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Hope the sun will shine again for you soon.

Jayne said...

Sorry for your loss.

I have never had the experience of putting a pet down, and hope I never have to. I imagine it being one of the hardest things to do.
Hope things get better.

Martha said...

I am so sorry.
You loved Issac well.

Anonymous said...

So sorry, it's not an easy thing to do and I know this because my cat Zeus went to the bridge in May. I knew in my heart of hearts that the time had come to say goodbye to my wonderful and loving friend. He had 19 years with us. RIP Isaac RIP Zeus

christinewang97 said...

You don't have to, that's perfectly understandable. I Know how you feel...I've been through the same thing too. Your family and friends will probably be your main source of support. Don't be afraid to ask them for help. Chances are, someone in your family loved your cat as much as you did and they are trying to deal with their own grief over his death. Why don't you try something different? Foster a dog maybe. One of the dogs from this, Save a Dog: is waiting for a loving friend like you. Good luck!

fremont vet said...

Sorry to hear about your cat and I am glad to see your blog back to life again.

Vanessa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it can be especially for veterinary staff to have to make that decision. We educate and console clients everyday on euthanasia, but it's even that much more difficult when it comes to your own animal.
I also understand your decision, I know what it's like when something like this weighs so heavy on your own shoulders. The 3 months I treated my own cat for an excaserbated inflammatory condition were the worst 3 months of my life.....